Book 3, Draft Chapter 4

And it’s a long one at ~5600 words. It’s also dark in content and is marked with a trigger warning. Please do heed the warning.

As usual, unedited and subject to change. In fact, it will be changed. There are bits I want to play with more, but let’s move forward in the story. And I’ve saved the Aqua Marcia scene for the final book.

You’ll see there are a few new Dacian characters. Rather than just make names up (though I did make up ‘Allerix’), every name used in this chapter is a recorded name of a historically attested Dacian War fighter and likely survivor.

Here are the links for Draft Chapter 4:

Archive of Our Own: http://archiveofourown.org/users/JPKenwood

Dreamwidth: https://dominusfiction.dreamwidth.org

JPK

 

  10 comments for “Book 3, Draft Chapter 4

  1. Lynne Mackness
    May 25, 2017 at 6:22 am

    Well, I wasn’t expecting that!

    Liked by 1 person

    • May 25, 2017 at 9:55 pm

      Lots of twists and turns in this chapter alone. Crazy book! LOL!

      Like

  2. Goldenground
    May 25, 2017 at 7:39 am

    What an amazing chapter! It was full of suspense, intrigue, and brilliant interactions that I can’t wait to read the third installment. First off, i’m so happy Gaius’s vulnerability and tenderness for Allerix are apparent here. Of course, he’s still the confident and jealous Gaius we all know and love, but it’s heartwarming to see him let down his walls a bit. We definitely get the sense that their relationship is steadily moving into uncharted territory as their feelings for each other only continues to grow. Although seeing Allerix’s captured and battered comrades throws his feelings of guilt into sharp relief. I, along with Alle, teared up at the joy and relief of his former three aquantinces. At least they have hope of a future.
    Now, Brasus, sighs. Well, he certainly didn’t care for Allerix at all. That he would spout such hateful words against a person whose only mistake was in loving someone as undeserving as him was cruel. Of course, I do take into consideration the fact that he has suffered the eradication of his homeland and people and continues to suffer as a prisoner of war. After all, when we are first introduced to Allerix he’s snarling and vowing to avenge Dacia (and continues to harbor that prayer, but I digress). Perhaps that’s why Brasus’ vitriolity doesn’t stop Allerix from wishing him agency somehow, because he fought and fell for the homeland they shared, regardless of the failure and disillusionment in Alles former feelings for him. Still though, to be called a traitor has to hurt, especially when Allerix already feels like one for falling in love with his ‘captor’.
    Oh, and more protective!Gaius ❤️ of course he would worry about and apologize to Allerix when he’s the one wounded. Gaius is in stupid, passionate love and isn’t fooling anybody lol. Really looking forward to more 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lynne Mackness
      May 26, 2017 at 6:16 am

      Your comments have been helpful as I was having some problems with the outcome of the visit. Agree about the growing relationship between Alle and Gaius but still feel sorry for poor old Brasus in spite of the horrid things he said. His treatment must have been terrible to send him mad and for Alle to turn up with the man responsible for it would be enough to completely unhinge anyone. And bravo for him if he’d rather die than fight for his enemy. Sorry if this is not a popular view.

      Like

      • Goldenground
        May 26, 2017 at 10:07 am

        I’m glad it’s helpful, I was worried for a second my comment was a bit longwinded lol I’m not sure if your view is a popular one or not but I see no issue with it. My personal opinion on Brasus (which is unfavorable based on my impression of his character) and particularly his relationship with Allerix is separate from my sympathy for him as someone who’s lost everything and suffered as a prisoner of war. The two aren’t mutually exclusive. I respect his refusal to fight for his enemy and even understand why he’d view Allerix as a traitor for all of the reasons you listed. I mean, had Allerix not fallen in love with Gaius I strongly suspect his fate wouldn’t be so different from Brasus’.

        Like

      • May 26, 2017 at 2:04 pm

        For me, Brasus is a sympathetic, tragic character and his manner of death was vey difficult for Allerix. Alle will be dealing with this event for a while. And yeah, Allerix could very well be exactly where Brasus is/was — condemned to the arena — if not for Gaius trying to keep Alle’s royal identity secret. It was a very tough chapter to write, which is why this one took so darn long.

        Now for some sweeter times with Max, Simon, and Theo. And a peek into the everyday life of a freedman cobbler living in Rome.

        Like

  3. Goldenground
    May 25, 2017 at 8:05 am

    Oh, and for clarification. How old are Gaius and Allerix? I believe Allerix was 22 and Gaius in his mid to late 30’s but I’m not sure.

    Liked by 1 person

    • May 25, 2017 at 5:24 pm

      You got it! Alle is 22 and Gaius is 35. Luc was 37. Max is 30. I could go on and on… Lol! Love your long comment. Will reply when I back on the computer. (darn phone).

      Like

  4. Sevigne morris
    June 3, 2017 at 4:47 pm

    But in the other hand don’t forget that Gauis manipulated Alle capture and maybe if wasn’t by his efforts of have him wanted Alle for himself since the time he laid eyes on Alle maybe Alle would not be captured at all! Gauis had a lot of mercenaries looking for Alle all over the place so of course he would have to keep Alle’s identity secret, lol. He wanted Alle for himself not because chariot.

    Like

    • June 3, 2017 at 5:04 pm

      Ah! Excellent point. And what would happen if Alle learned that Gaius had spotted (and then wanted) him during the last war. While Gaius was not involved in the ultimate capture (and rape) of Alle and Gorgas, would Alle understand or care?

      Like

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